Aphrodisiac Dinner Date

Dinner dates with new companions can make or break a budding romance. First dates can be nerve racking. Planning the date can be particularly difficult. Where should you go, what should you do and what would be enjoyable? You might worry that your date will not like the restaurant, the food or worse yet, the company. Once the date begins you may sometimes struggle with conversation, feel awkward and suffer from anxiety. Don't be ashamed, it happens to everyone.

What you need to do is have a plan. Once you have a course of action in place, you can stay focused. You will have more on your mind than the impending fate of your date. With this in mind you should be able to focus on the fine details of your production instead of wondering if he or she will like you. This will immediately restore your confidence and it will give you something else to worry about! A quintessential part of your grand design should be controlling what kind of delicacies are to be consumed.

Well planned and prepared meals can be a journey through sensuality. You don't have to be a master chef to concoct a tantalizing meal, but take some time to familiarize yourself with natural foods and herbs which directly affect the senses as well as hormone and vitamin levels. A great meal can be an aphrodisiac on a number of levels: the way it is prepared, the way it looks, the way it feels, the way it smells, the way it tastes and the way it makes you feel afterwards.

The absolute best and incomparable sort of dinner date you can arrange is one that you prepare yourself at your own home. In this scenario you can be the male or the female, it does not matter. When a guy cooks for a girl, the woman feels special, elated, curious and very vulnerable because the man is in complete and total control. And when the woman cooks for her special guy, she gets to showcase any special culinary talents which can serve as a hint of more to come. When you cook for someone at home you can control the food, the ambiance, the music and even the romance. You are also alone. You have a little bit less stress on both parties because you are not in front of a crowd of other diners and waiters, you can forget about small formalities and you have a better opportunity to be yourselves. And not to mention cooking for someone is incredibly romantic in itself. It shows heart, thoughtfulness and a generous effort to please the other person.

The definition of an aphrodisiac is something that arouses or intensifies sexual desire. There are hundreds of different natural foods and herbs that are thought to be aphrodisiacs usually stemming from folklore and myths. To be exact, there are no foods that will turn on sexual desire like the flick of a switch. No scientific tests have ever concluded that certain foods will suddenly make you feel "in the mood". Forget about Spanish fly. All that ever did was aggravate the urinal tract causing people to confuse the tingling sensation in their pelvic region with one of a sexual nature. However, there are certain natural foods that can help alter and guide the moment, and you might be surprised.

Asparagus may be at the top of list as a natural aphrodisiac. It contains healthy doses of natural vitamins and minerals including the two major "sex vitamins": vitamins D and E. Vitamin D is responsible for hormone production including sex hormones while vitamin E is responsible for increasing the amount of oxygenated blood being pumped into your sex organs. Notably, asparagus has always been considered an aphrodisiac even in the past because of its phallic appearance. The rest of the nutrients in asparagus increase vitality and work to energize the body by erradicating ammonia. Other foods rich in the sex vitamins are eggs and sunflower seeds. I don't think we can work in the eggs for a romantic dinner, but try sprinkling your salad with some delicious sunflower seeds.

Another aphrodisiac at the top of the list are chiles. Not only do chiles increase the heart rate, they also release endorphins into the body. Spicy foods in general help the body to increase its production of these so called "happy hormones" which are utilized by the body to cope with the burn. But the hormones have another effect, they give us a natural high. Chocolate, a popular aphrodisiac, also helps increase the endorphin rush. Oysters on the half shell are not as potent as you might think. They contain very little nutritional value and the effect they have are on men, not women. First, the sweet and salty smell is very similar to the female pheromone and second, they contain a high amount of the zinc mineral which is a key ingredient for testosterone production.

Aphrodisiacs do not have to have an effect on the body as described above. Delicious and fragrant smells can put people in the right mood and even make people feel more comfortable. For example, men are insatiably attracted to the smell of apple-cinnamon candles while women are pleased with smell of lavender and rosemary spices. Use your imagination with the food selection as well. Some foods are just sexy. Grapes and champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, artichokes with hollandaise sauce and lamb chops are just a few of my favorites.

Poor Relationship Indicators

Poor Relationship Indicators

New relationships can be very exciting. So exciting, in fact, that you become blinded to the obvious indicators that should be giant red flags warning you of a potentially disastrous relationship.....or a very poor one in the least. Here are just a few of what we had in mind:

1. I'll call you but you can't call me. This is the guy or girl who either refuses to give you a home number, or any number at all, and never answers the phone if he or she does give you a number. This person might even display a certain amount of agitation if you do make that phone call more than a few times. But when he or she wants to call you, it is all fine and dandy. For most people, this type of relationship won't last long. Most people have more respect for themselves than to let something like this go on. But I have a few friends who have dealt with characters such as this. You can't call this person because he or she is either married or dating someone else. You are on the down low.
2. The date with an explosively defensive personality. Have you ever been on a first or second date where you already encountered a little tiff? I once went out with a guy who put me on an intense guilt trip on the first date. He was gorgeous, athletic and a little mysterious so I was happy about the date. But when I accidentally ignored what he said at one point, he made me feel terrible about it. It was a normal mishap. I was driving while he was talking and it just so happened that I was driving in a terrible rainstorm. I was nervous and was holding on to the wheel with a death grip. While I was negotiating a turn in this deluge I happened to miss what he said and responded with an "Uh-huh". Apparently it was an inappropriate response. I never found out what he said but he didn't let more forget it. As we dated a few more times, his aggression came out brutally (verbally) on a few occasions and I abruptly ended it. I should have seen it coming from the beginning.
3. The person who doesn't respect your limits. This is usually a sign of immaturity, but it can also signal a sign of dominance. There are many examples of this. For example, a woman who keeps pushing you to go to party after party, when you just want to go home to bed. Someone who pushes you into doing something you don't want to do even when you have said so. In a worst case scenario, this is the guy who just doesn't understand that no means no. If someone doesn't respect the limits you have set out for them, that person probably doesn't respect you at all.
4. When the guy or girl stresses how important good looks are in the relationship. I actually had a guy tell me that it was very important to him that we both remain good looking even as we aged in years. I understand vanity, and it is okay to care about your body and the way you look. But that is not what this guy meant. He was taking it a step beyond and he wanted me to know how much "looks" meant to him. He was a socialite, and it meant everything to him. While I was thinking about keeping in shape and getting up to date haircuts, he was thinking breast augmentations, tummy tucks, brow lifts, botox and permanent makeup. If that was what was important to him, then fine. But I wanted what was inside of me to be the most important factor to someone. This guy wasn't ready for a relationship yet. All he needed was mannequin and a mirror for himself.

Arrange This.

Intrigued by the recent headline making romance between Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, I decided to do some research on age difference in relationships. The 16 year difference in age makes the new couple something to talk about. Is it a scandal? Is he a cradle robber? Personally, I still think of Katie Holmes as the little girl next door from Dawson's Creek. She certainly doesn't seem to be old enough to be dating my teenage heart throb. She was still playing doctor with her own next door neighbor back then. Or is Mr. Cruise just a lucky hunk who bagged the hot young babe, a rising superstar? But while I was doing my research I came across this gruesome article: Age Difference and Marriage Culture. I was so absolutely appalled by this apathetic article, I decided to write a rebuttal.

There is no doubt in my mind that our nameless author (I say "nameless" because he has refused to leave his name most likely out of cowardice) is a sexist bible thumping woman hater. He pretends to have a greater and noble cause for his paper, citing moral and cultural blemishes which undermine our marital unions in this modern day while he drives to drudge up old world traditions to instigate more successful unions. But how far back in society does this misguided figure wish we should go?

To sum up his paper in brief, this man believes that we, as a modern society, should prearrange our daughters' weddings at an early age to a much older man. For the first couple of years during engagement there should be no sexual contact so that she could get used to the idea of marriage and he could work on building his career and future for the new couple. Any career ideas for the woman should of course be put on hold because she will be busy at home raising the children. He even suggested that maybe she could take come college credit courses here and there. After the children get older she could then get a degree and possibly enter the work force. This author attests to the fact that he is not against the strides that women have made over the past years in equality in business and government and that women should work....with a stay at home business. Does he think he is fooling anyone?

Now let's point out and break down some of his more interesting points, arguments and assumptions, shall we? In the beginning he makes a comparison of arranged marriages in the bible and what women experience in the dating world today. "Joseph and Mary in the Bible lived in a time when families "arranged" marriages with the girl at 15 and the man at 30......In our modern culture, "similar age" unions have been enforced through coeducation, campus "parties" and movies that glorify these institutions. Women have been vulnerable to date rape and a lack of commitment arising from inflamed but only temporary male passions, and even some "good guys" become "good byes"." Oh yes, and let's take a look at the good ol' days shall we? Relationships were not always so peachy keen back then as this guy would like to think. Rape was just as common as ordering a big mac and the women were treated like slaves and private property. Do you want to bring that back too? Yes, Mr. Sexist Pig, relationships fail and women experience hard times, but it is not because our evolution into equality has failed. Our independence and strength only encourages us women to try again and survive the hard times. And trust me, we have it much better now than it ever was before.

This man likes to dwell on women going to college. He pretends to detest coeducation standards, but this is simply a mask for him to be able to say that women should not be attending college. Talking about parental and government support for women in college he asks, "Do they really expect that most girls will meet a stable lifelong partner there?" Yes, dingbat, I do. Many men and women do meet a same age partner in college and marry soon after. Just because you were turned down by every college girl you met doesn't mean that you should try and ruin it for the rest of them. "We could ameliorate the temptation for short-lived same-age fornication-relationships if our culture said, "OK, coeducation has some value, but we will make a joint effort to set up younger women with older men for marriage in general." What? Oh yes, that is what I am going to do when I am a parent. I'll set up my darling virgin daughter, squashing any chance she ever had for having fun while she is young, to marry an older man who has most likely had his fair share of "fun". Men can do it, women can't. I still can not believe that there are people out there in America who actually think like this. And when you think it can't get worse your IQ drops a point as you read his next line of drivel."Off to college they go, with parental financial support, or with government loans, to party and put off marriage for their careers. Therefore, women often marry far past their prime. It is such a waste, and a crime against the men of the culture." And there you have it. It is a crime against men. Yes, Mr. Nameless One, it is one big conspiracy set out to undermine and overthrow the the dictatorship of men. Also, I really must say that a thirty year woman is not past her prime. I think we are getting the picture now. You are just a dirty old man who wants to be set up with some cute little 16 year old girl, the innocent daughter of your fellow church patrons. Have you shown them your dirty little article? Do you think they will fall for it and start her arrangement with you? You are a sick and twisted little man.

Women have worked hard through the years to achieve complete equality. Putting her goals aside to appease an arranged marriage isn't exactly equality. If we went back to this sort of arrangement, we would all be wearing burqas in no time and regular stonings in the city square would come back to popularity. Women go to school and fall in love with men their own age because we want to. You might think that arranging marriages leads to a more stable family environment, but the rest of the sane world sees it leading to depression in women, suicides and battered women living in fear of her abusive spouse. Choice is the issue here. We have the choice to marry who we want, fall in love with who we want and God Willing, have bed breaking sex with whom we choose. What we learn is how to take care of ourselves, become independent and mature in life. This helps in a relationship, especially if something happens such as abandonment or becoming widowed.

I see nothing wrong with a large age difference in relationships, in fact, I think it is even healthy. Women are ready for a mature relationship at an earlier age then men. Too much of an age difference could create problems because of difference in societal view. At first, the woman might have a father figure complex but as she ages she suddenly values her independence. She might even rebel against her older husband's authority as she would her own father. At the same time, I think relationships of the same age have just as much chance as any other relationship. As long as there is love and free will, we will be okay.

Kudos to the Nice Guys

I would like to take the time to thank all of the nice guys in the world who, in their selfless acts of humility and bravery, subject themselves to becoming the human doormat for the emotional and personal baggage of societal women. Nice guys take on a thankless and always underestimated job, yet they are needed in countless ways, used and exploited by every woman I know, whether it is on purpose or not. And when nice guys only want the one thing which eludes them time and time again, they continue to truly care for their women in distress and refrain from pressing any issue, never revealing their true desires.

The nice guys are the ones who go to the opera with us, when no one else would. They go shopping with us and help us pick out new clothes, which we wear only to pick up other guys in. They provide the soggy shoulder upon which we cry, never complaining about the runny nose stains left on the sleeves, and never taking advantage of your heart broken emotional state by trying to use it to their advantage. These are the guys who happily attend your pity parties and bring the two bottles of wine. They are the ones who are quick to tell you how beautiful, sexy, smart and intelligent you are, and they are the ones who make you laugh when you never thought you would laugh again. They are the ones by which you are able to push yourself back up into the world, by standing on their backs. We feel better about ourselves, because the nice guys had the courage and emotional strength to give us what we needed without telling us what they wanted, and then they quickly look away once we have moved on, instead of screaming for us to stay. 

The nice guys are the ones who don’t judge us, even when we are dating Joe Jerk. They are the guys who will help carry our drunken stupor bodies home before we make too much of an ass out of ourselves in a public place. They are the ones who can meet you at any hour of the night when you just need someone to talk to. They are the ones who save you even when you don’t realize you need to be saved. The nice guys replace the best girlfriend, because they can give you a male prospective about any situation, yet they still only give you what you want and need to hear. The nice guys are the ones who will still love us, even when no one else does. 

Quietly, the nice guys wonder how you could ever date Joe Jerk. They wonder how you could tolerate the terrible treatment from a guy who cares more about his car, money, muscles or hair gel than making you smile. Yet you pass up the nice guy, the one who has been your true friend and confidante, and continue to ogle over the man whose entire life existence revolves around his own ego. He wonders about it, but never passes over to the dark side of dating. He never reverts to his Neanderthal cousin’s (Joe Jerk’s) method of dating by treating women like crap. Instead, he remains the nice guy and patiently waits. 

I encourage all of the ladies to look around. Who have the nice guys been in your life? Is it about time you at least thank them or maybe, for once in your lives, do something special and deserving just for them? Maybe even consider dating the nice guy instead of Joe Jerk? 

As for all the Mr. Nice Guys reading this, do not fret. The things you do for women are not acts which go unnoticed. You are needed. You hold a special place in our lives and our hearts. I am convinced that it is the nice guys who will win. Just give it time because it is you who will be remembered, not Joe Jerk. And you are the ones who will eventually be king. You don’t have to wait for that one girl and I don’t mean that you should wait for sloppy seconds. Your girl will come, and you will be on top of the world. And when that happens, every girl who slighted you will turn their heads back, cast their eyes downward…..and regret.

Theories of Female Seduction

I have always been curious about the guides and manuals geared towards men about how to pick up women. Most of them always boast some exaggerated claims such as 'never be turned down again', 'sleep with a different woman every night', 'have women beg for your affections' and 'it doesn't matter if you are fat, bald, short or and broke'. Although I don't seriously see myself ever going head over heels for a short, fat bald man who leaches on me for money because he doesn't have two pennies to rub together, stranger things have happened. So I decided to investigate some of these seduction theories and groups for my own edification.

I recently purchased, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, by Neil Strauss, mostly because of its appearance. The book comes disguised as a bible with its black leather covering and gold trimmed pages and gold embossing. Clever. It is also over 450 pages and comes complete with a full glossary defining all of the "pick-up" terms used within the book which were created by the writer and his cohorts. To be honest, I thought this little book would be more of a gimmick filled with boring and needless details, but it really wasn't. The book was fascinating. It went through a lot of the steps that these successful pick-up artists would use on unsuspecting bombshells, successfully, and also revealed the sordid lives of his pick-up lair centered in Los Angeles addressing drugs, sex, parties, alcohol, you name it. It was truly fascinating and a little outrageous. When I read the part concerning one of the artists successfully picking up Paris Hilton I became a little concerned that the author may have been pulling a James Frey on me. Nevertheless, the story line was captivating and entertaining.

I skimmed through most of the book, only really interested in how these artists believe they could casually walk into a bar or meat market, identify a target, and have her come home with him within an hour. Could a guy do that with me? I seriously doubt it....but then again I am the kind of girl that always has to be in control of the situation. Still, I was impressed with the series of steps given for an easy pick-up. I have my own critique for each step. Her are just a few:

1.He Says: Smiling. Always smile when you enter a room because it tells people that you are happy, confident and a hell of a lot of fun to be with.
I Say: I couldn't agree more. When a guy walks into a room with no smile I either assume that he thinks he is too good for everyone else, almost as if he expects women to swoon to him just for looking so darn good (what girl would want to be with someone so high maintenance?) or that he has some serious social problems which need to be worked on, i.e. he is nervous, has low self esteem and is boring.

2.He Says: The Peacock Theory: Women are attracted to men who stand apart from everyone else. Where something bright and colorful, a conversation piece. Leave the boring old brown khakis at home.
I Say: True. It may sound silly but this is very true. You look like fun, you look like you are very confident, you know what you want.... I wouldn't suggest sporting a bright green mohawk, just try not to look boring. The author gives some good tips in this department.

3.He Says: After identifying the target, walk up to the group and have an opener to allow you to start talking to them. Ignore the target for a while and talk to everyone else in the group while making it seem to the target that you are the life of the party.
I say: With practice, you should be able to walk up to anyone and talk to them and to be able to engage the entire group in conversation which will make you look good. But if a guy is talking to everyone else but me I would instantly either smell a trap or assume that he is not interested in me. This would turn me against him right away and I would give him the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening. Fortunately for you pick-up wannabes, most younger women, women with low self esteem and/or low intellect and party-goers will fall right into this trap.

4.He says: Direct your attention towards the target and insult her gently with silly little negative comments always followed by a smile.
I say: Huh? I read some of the comments offered as suggestions and I don't think I would be so amused. But then again I am a born New Englander. If a guy insulted me in front of people you can better believe I will through a brutal insult in his direction and walk away (if I don't throw my drink in his face). If this strategy works, it works on women who do not think much of themselves. But for picking up women to "take home", then I guess it suits its purpose.

5.He says: After entertaining the group for a while, isolate your target into a one on one situation and engage her in meaningless conversation designed to fascinate her. He tells of how to use magic tricks and little fascinating mind tricks to keep her enthralled. You would have to read this chapter to understand this in fine detail but you get the picture.
I say: This solidifies my theory that the only women these groups are picking up are either truly mindless or are looking to be picked up in the first place. I think if a guy used one of these little games on me to peek my interest I might laugh uncontrollably. However, the theory is correct about keeping someone's interest. His games were a little too prosaic for me, but I personally like to be with a guy who teaches me new things every day. The premise is the same....stimulation is needed.

6.He Says: The Cat and String Theory. If you dangle the string in front of the cat, it plays with the string wildly but if you just throw the string down, the cat will look at it and walk away. He uses this analogy to describe women. For example, if a woman hugs you and you hug back and then stay by her side touching her..she will back off. If she hugs you and then you walk away a little, she will be following you all night.
I say: For the most part this is true. A woman likes to feel in control. If you are cramping her space too much leaving her will little choice to make on her own, she will back off. But if you allow her to make the choice, she will feel more free, safe and secure and she will be the one chasing you. Correct.

Mr. Strauss goes into further detail about reading her signals, interpreting positive signals and successfully completing the deal. More chapters go into sealing the contract once back at your pad and how to seduce her into sex. It was an interesting read and I think most men and women would enjoy this informative book. It is as bold as it is entertaining. All seduction books, guides and manuals are meant for guys who just want to increase their sex score. In my opinion, the kind of women you will be hooking up with due to these methods, although potentially extremely hot, are not dating material. They are women who are in it for the moment. These books are not for someone looking for a relationship....they could do more harm than good.

Psycho or Jealous?

There are very few articles and resources addressing the topic of jealousy. I have come to the conclusion that this is merely because people don't know what stance to take on the situation. Everyone has been on both sides of the fence. Most of us have experienced a jealous lover and many of us have been in a relationship where we curiously find ourselves being insecure and jealous by nature. On one hand you want to condemn the abhorrent behavior exhibited by jealous partners while on the other hand you might be able to sympathize. I have decided to courageously announce my decided opinion. Jealousy is just another euphemism for psychotic behavior.

Without going too far into the psychology of jealousy, you should understand that jealousy is not an innate feeling that we are all born with; rather it is a learned response that people have developed over time to deal with certain situations. We all have the ability to feel anguish and emotional sorrow, and jealousy is one way we cope with these feelings. Jealousy can rear its ugly green head at any time. You never know what will set it off. Some people can be completely at ease with one lover and insanely jealous with another lover. People have the potential to get jealous for a multitude of reasons. They might have low self esteem, have been rejected or betrayed in the past or feel insecure about their body or looks to name a few.

I would venture to say that a small amount of jealousy in any relationship is normal. It might even be considered a good thing because it shows that deep emotions are tied to this relationship. But jealousy should not be confused as a sign of love. Severe jealousy is the exact opposite of love. Emma Goldman, an early 20th century writer, claimed that "Its (jealousy) one desire is to punish, and to punish as severely as possible". She was very right. There are obvious big, bright and bold lines that are crossed all too often. You have probably dated one of these line crossers; I have dated more than enough. This is when jealousy becomes apparent psychotic behavior. Your lover begins to assume that you are cheating on some level or another and you are being dishonest almost every day. Soon you get to the point where that person is doing a stake out of your home, following you around like a private eye, breaking into your email accounts, slashing your tires and smearing chocolate cake on your door (Yes, someone actually smeared cake on my door in a jealous rage). When you get to the point where you can not even say one word to a member of the opposite sex at a party because you fear the inevitable wrath which will follow from your lover when you get home, your relationship is in jeopardy.

When people exhibit these jealous rages, they are only destroying the relationship they are trying to save. People use jealousy as a legitimate weapon of defense to protect what is rightfully theirs. Jealousy attempts to prevent the annihilation of love, but it only helps it along. Experiencing these jealous rages will also further lower your self respect because it causes you to stoop to the lowest of acts. It destroys more than just the relationship. "Jealousy is invariably a one-sided, bigoted accuser, convinced of his own righteousness and the meanness, cruelty and guilt of his victim". Although the jealous person wants to keep the relationship intact, the intentions of showing these acts of jealousy are to maliciously hurt the other person. Obviously, these uncontrollable acts used to salvage the relationship do not work. They only cause the other person to retaliate in disgust making the situation even worse.

So how do you deal with jealousy? That is the big question. For the insanely jealous person, the best thing you can do is recognize that your jealousy may be unfounded and then open the lines of communication. Instead of brooding on thoughts of infidelity, simply tell your lover how you are feeling as soon as you start feeling that way. You should have these feelings immediately put to ease when he or she calms your heart. You also need to stop trying to forcibly fuse your relationship into one being. The best relationships are created through the bonding of two separate individuals. If you are dealing with a jealous person whom you want to stay with and love, then you are going to have to learn not to get drawn in to these petty jealousy arguments, do not retaliate, do not take any blame, do not let the freak outs get to you when they occur and do not assume that he or she will change any time soon. To help get rid of jealous behavior you must leave all of your doors open. Meaning, you must not keep anything hidden or locked away for your love to get suspicious or distrusting over. Couples therapy, although expensive, is a viable option.

14 Dating Rules to Follow

Dating Rules to Follow 

Rule 1: Always be confident in yourself - MAIN RULE!

People who have real confidence in themselves attract people naturally. People can tell when you are confident with yourself and where you are going with your life. If you're not confident in yourself, why? Is it because you have no money? Is it because you think you're overweight or ugly? All of this can be overcome with confidence. Honestly, girls (girls we want to date) don't care a lot about these things. Of course, if you are really over weight and you have bad teeth and you dress like a hobo, change yourself. It's that simple. If you want to be successful with women, you can't hide behind excuses to fail. I know a lot of men who aren't rich and aren't good looking who are very successful with women because they act like they are good looking and they are rich, they act in ways that make men and women naturally attracted to them. A happy go lucky guy who smiles a lot will get x10 the amount of attention as a sad sack sitting in the corner no matter how hot or rich he is. Be happy with yourself, but if there is something holding you back from being a more outgoing person, fix it. I had a large mole on my face and while no women seemed to care about it, it made me feel self conscious and I didn't feel confident in my looks, so I got it removed. The only real different I see now is not in my looks but in my personality. I feel better about MYSELF and I did it for MYSELF, I didn't do it for women's approval, I did it because I wanted to be more outgoing and feel better about myself.

Rule 2: Relax - be totally calm - act like u dont need her

As you can tell these rules are not in any particular order but when you first start dating someone, act calm, be cool. Especially on the first date, be cool. Don't be nervous, don't get all excited and act like a goof. Don't act desperate around women, just be yourself and not worry about the outcome, dating should be fun!

Rule 3: Be Cocky and Funny - be outgoing and have fun AND BE FUN TO BE AROUND - be charming/gentleman

You will hear me talk about being cocky and funny a lot in this book, it's something I learnt from another dating book (which if you have a couple hundred dollars spare, you should pick up at http://www.doubleyourdating.com). Being cocky to me means not being afraid to joke around with women. Men are so scared to be themselves around women that they act all uptight and nervous and are not sure what to say. Don't worry about. Most men by nature are not big mouth arrogant SOB's, so just say what's on your mind. Talking about sex and other taboo subjects is FINE. Teasing a girl lightly is fine, as long as it's funny and a little bit cocky. Be the fun guy to hang around, make dating fun for you and her.

Rule 4: Don't get emotional even if the woman does - women will test you - nothing to be insecure about

This rule IS SO IMPORTANT when you start dating someone more seriously. I made this mistake a couple of times early on and the relationships ended pretty soon after. If a woman says something to you that makes you feel nervous, angry, upset and you feel like you're going to get overly emotional and say something you will regret, FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR SANITY, Don't say anything. It's a lot easier to say nothing then it is to take something stupid back. Think before you speak. Women will always do this. Women will blame you for things that are not your fault, things will happen in their lives that make them emotional, you're job is to stay calm. I'll give you a personal example. I started dating a girl I REALLY liked, but a couple of weeks into the relationship, she told me she was pregnant and she wasn't sure who the father was, because before she started dating me, she was seeing two other guys. I freaked out, and you probably think, well rightly so, and it was probably for the best things ended, but, breaking up with someone is better when you're the one breaking up with the girl I know this sounds childish, but it's true. It's a mental thing. Being dumped is a horrible feeling and take's longer to get over.

Rule 5: Lead in the relationship - Always be a man - IE Dad - say things like "you do what you wanna do"

Girls like a guy who will lead in the relationship. I don't mean bossy, I mean lead. It's a manly thing to do. When a woman asks what you want to do, don't reply back, "I dunno, what do you want to do", take the bull by the horn's and make a decision. I know it's a bit of a pain to be the one who does this all the time, but it really works. I also added a part about my dad in this rule. He is one of those old fashioned type of guy's, always leads, makes executive decisions. He isn't wishy washy. Also, when women throw things at you that you're not expecting, never over react, I touched on this just before, and I'm going to again. If a girl says she's going out with male friends, or seeing an ex boyfriend, don't flip your lid, this is the quickest way to push her away. Just say things like, "you do what you wanna do", "it's your life, I'm not your father, have fun". Saying things like this make you sound confident in yourself and don't really care what she does. Begging her not to go and doing all sorts of crazy things guys do will push her away for good.

Rule 6: Live an active and full life - you come first - plenty of fish in the sea - Always keep busy

Most of you are probably thinking how am I going to remember all these things, and you're not suppose to really. Use them all, or use just a few, refer to them often and they will sink in over time. But if you only remember one dating rule, this is it. Always keep busy! Never make too much time for a girl when you first start dating. All the other rules will fall into place if you just follow this one. When you're sitting at home with nothing to do, you will be tempted to want to ring any girl you're dating too much and you will become too available. If she's says lets make plans for Tuesday, say no you're busy, how about Wednesday. Get a hobby, play a sport, go out more with your friends and if you don't have any friends, make some! Keep your mind busy and everything else will fall into place because you will be too busy with your life to care what she is doing. She will be just a nice little extra in your life, not your whole life! Keep busy guys!

Rule 7: Don't rush the dating process - build the mystery - forcing respells attraction

Again, this goes with keeping busy. Never see a girl more then twice a week for at least the first 10 to 20 dates. Seriously. I know you will want to spend all your time with someone if you think she's the one, but, you need to build the attraction, not force it. This way is best for both of you. I feel most guys will settle for a girl because she wants a relationship, even tho she might not be the girl for him. Take your time, have fun, date multiple women, it's ok.

Rule 8: Let things go, the past is the past - but always tell it as it is - no hangups!

Every one has a past, and if I've made any mistake too much, its this one. You have to accept people for who they are, if you really like someone, leave the past where it belongs, in the past. We all have baggage. Of course, there are limits.

Rule 9: Don't write sappy emails ever, never write anything because of fear or insecurity

What is it with guys and writing sappy letters or emails when they feel like they are losing the girl or have lost the girl. If a girl breaks up with you, let it go, move on with your life, start dating again and you will find this will bring back love quicker then a sappy email professing your undying love for the girl. Think before you speak, think before you type!

Rule 10: Girls find a guy hot when he has a plan for life - IE I told a girlfriend about my dreams for life

I don't know what it is, but when your talking about something your passionate about, people are naturally attracted to you. I use to date a girl who played guitar and she was so passionate about it, it was a real turn on. She knew what she wanted to be and I found that sexy. Same thing applies to men. I tell girls about my dream of running the largest publishing company in the world one day and girls find my passion and that idea really attractive.

Rule 11: Don't apologize for the sake of apologizing - Don't apologize if you've done nothing wrong

This is a real turn off for women. Guys have a habit of apologizing for girls bad behaviors and it's not on. Women see this as a sign of weakness. If a girl is doing something or saying something you don't like, tell her that. If she's acting bratty, tell her that. Don't put up with moody behavior just because she thinks you deserve to be treated that way, you don't.

Rule 12: First Date Advice - Lean Back Relax Don't Be Nervous, Be Confident, Funny, Cocky, But Don't Take It Too Far!

I must admit, one date I did take the cocky and funny routine a bit far and probably was a bit more relaxed then I should have been and I came across very arrogant and sarcastic. Arrogance is a huge turn off and there is a fine line between that and cocky and funny.

Rule 13: No matter how funny or cocky you are, treat sex with respect.

If you do have sex with a girl, make it special, like she's the only one that matters.

Rule 14: Dress well, but don't over do it!

Learn How To Use Instant Messaging With Success

Learn How To Use Instant Messaging With Success 

Ok, so you've got the girl on msn or ICQ or whatever you want to use, what next? Chatting online is the best way to work on chatting to women without the fear of being nervous or making a fool of yourself in public. Just have fun and go with the flow.

Don't bog the conversation down with general chit chat. Talking about the weather, what she does for a living are things you can talk about when you're dating.

The idea of chatting online is to get the girls phone number and move to the next step.

Here is a sample conversation I had with a girl very recently after moving her from email to msn....

Me: hey stinky, how goes it

Her: I do not stink

Her: I'm good, feelin better

Her: And u?

Me: Much better

Me: So when are you going to buy me that beer?

Me: I'm busy this weekend and I want to make sure you are completely over your cold so you don't infect me by sitting to close to me.

Her: hahah, I won't infect you promise!

Me: Give me your mobile # and I'll give you a call when I'm not busy, I want to make sure you're really not a 59 year old man, who's overweight.

Her: Oh yah, because being overweight would make all the difference.

Me: Stop stalling and give me the digits.... :P

Her: Ok, (number here), just don't stalk me.

Me: No worries about that, it's my week off. Ne way, gotta run, I'll ring you when I'm free.

And that is how it's done my friends.

What Qualities Do Women Find Attractive In Men?

What Qualities Do Women Find Attractive In Men? 

Women when asked will say they want a nice guy who treats them like a pricness and pretty much has no balls of his own. They like the idea of getting flowers and having a sensitive guy to talk to about their problems.

All women will tell you they want to date the nice guy or that they can never seem to find a nice guy to date.

The problem is, this isn't exactly correct. These women arn't lying when they say they want these things.... on the surface they do, because it makes sense, it makes sense to want a guy like this, but on a subconscious level, they really want a man who takes control and acts like a man should

So what qualities do women want in men?

What they've always wanted and always will want. Women want their men to be men and not wussy boys who ask for approval to scratch their noses.

I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.

Have you ever noticed the following?

When you give a girl a compliment or tell a girl how beautiful she is she shys away from you?

BUT

When you notice a flaw about her she will get more involved in the conversation and take you more seriously.

Have you ever noticed....

When you buy girls gifts and take them to expensive dinners they end up later that night thanking you for a great evening and going out with another guy?

BUT

If you just go for a quick drink and act like you are equals she feels attracted to you because you're not catering to her every whim.

Have you noticed when....

You call a girl often after a date and she seems distant and funny

BUT

When you don't call her and you act like you're busy and could live with her or without her, she won't stop calling you.

WOMEN DON'T WANT TO BE CATERED TO, HOUNDED, TREATED LIKE PRINCESSES OR ANY OTHER RUBBISH YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT DATING.

This is from my experience what women want from a man.....

They Want You To Be Confident

They Want You To Lead

They Don't Want You To Get Emotional

They Want You To Be Fun With No Hang Ups

They Want You To Make Them Laugh

They Want You To Make Them Wonder

They Want You To Be Interesting

They Want You To Know What You Want From Life

Mixing Dating with Being a Single Parent

Mixing Dating with Being a Single Parent 

In today's world, many people find themselves facing the prospect of raising a child virtually on their own.  Whether it's through divorce, death or simply by choice, both men and women are becoming the sole parental influence in the lives of their children.

There is no denying that being a parent is an extremely fulfilling adventure, but there's certainly much more to life than ensuring your children grow up strong and healthy.  Many single parents are realizing that they want to get into the dating scene. It can be a bit of a struggle finding time for both the children and a new love interest, but it's important to remember that although your child's needs will probably always come first, you have needs as well.

Some tips to make dating a bit easier for the single parent include:

Be upfront with any prospective love interests.
It can be tempting when you meet someone new to forego explaining the fact that you have children and that you are the sole influence in their lives.  Many people, particularly women, feel that if they share that information too early in the relationship, they'll intimidate the man and he'll mistake her honesty with her desire to have a "daddy figure" for her children.  This may be the case with some people, but it's much better to find out his or her feelings on your children well before the relationship takes a turn into serious territory.

Be honest with your children.
If your children are a product of divorce, it can be incredibly difficult for them to understand why you would be interested in another person. They may harbor secret wishes that you and your ex will reunite.  It's important to be honest with your children when it comes to any new relationship. Explain that you've met someone special and you hope that eventually they'll be excited to meet them as well.

Be respectful of your child's space.
Bringing someone home to spend the night before they've had a chance to spend time with your child can create an awkward situation for everyone involved.  Plan a picnic or buy some tickets to the circus or a ballgame so your new partner can spend some time with both you and your child together. Ensure that it's a relaxed atmosphere and encourage them to spend time talking with each other.

Don't be blinded by love.
Keep your wits about you when you meet someone new. This is especially important for a single parent. You don't want to expose your child to anyone dangerous or unstable.  Make certain that you learn as much as you possibly can about the person you are interested in before including them in the life of your child.

Although dating can be a bit more challenging for the single parent, there's no reason why you can't meet someone special to spend time with.

The most important thing to remember is to be respectful of everyone involved. Introducing a new man or woman to your child will take some adjustment for all of you.

Internet Dating - Gold Mine or Land Mine?

Internet Dating - Gold Mine or Land Mine? 

It seems that you can find almost anything under the sun on the Internet including in some cases, a spouse. With the explosion of Internet dating sites on the scene, thousands of people are meeting other singles for friendship and more. In most cases, these online sites provide a wonderful and safe environment for single people to meet up.

The premise and process is relatively simple - you fill out a profile, upload an image of yourself, and wait for the responses. Depending on the site you are dealing with, there may or may not be a screening process involved. It would seem that in this realm of dating, what you get is what you pay for as many of the pay to use sites are a bit more stringent when it comes to screen applicants.

The last decision is ultimately yours though and it's up to you whether to take the friendship you've developed with someone online and take it to the next level; an in person meeting. There are arguably a lot of benefits as well as drawbacks when it comes to dating someone you've met online but there are a few things you can do to up your chances of finding someone who is genuine.

These include:

Ask for additional pictures.
Most dating sites allow their members the opportunity to upload an image so others can get a good idea of what they look like. However, even though it's morally wrong, many people choose to upload pictures of others in place of themselves. If you've met someone online you're sweet on, ask to see a few more pictures and offer up a few of your own. If they decline or come up with excuse after excuse, you should take that as a sign.

Ask to speak on the phone before meeting.
Although the person you have been spending time with online is probably the same gender that they claim to be, there is a slim chance they aren't. Before you meet anyone in person that you've first met on the Internet, set up a phone meeting.

Ask for some general personal information. 
You certainly don't need to know their Social Security Number, but you should ask about relationship history, where they live, where they went to school and what they do for a living. Even this limited information gives you enough to check into. You need to be absolutely sure of who you are speaking with before you jump into a real time meeting.

Ask a friend to go with you to the first meeting. 
They certainly don't need to sit in on the date, but meet in a busy area and have someone you trust nearby, just in case. This will allow you to not only feel more secure, but after the date, you can get their impressions on the person's demeanor and body language.

It's true that many people have discovered love online and that might be in your future as well. You need to play it safe though until you are sure of whom you are talking to.

A little extra time and research can save you heartache down the road.

5 Ways to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

5 Ways to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You 

In her latest book, Superflirt, Tracey Cox reveals 5 simple tricks that you can use to make just about anyone fall in love with you. You won't believe how easy it is to win over the object of your affection. Find out how you can send all the right signals:

Some people will read this and think what I'm suggesting is wrong. I admit it's about manipulating and meddling with people's emotions. Most particularly, people you wish to God would meddle with you. In an ideal world, I'd agree. It would be preferable if everyone you wanted just fell in your lap, without having to play games. Unfortunately, real life doesn't always work that way.

Sometimes you can spend six months living, breathing, dripping, drooling, loving and lusting after someone with zero result. And it's when that happens that the techniques that follow suddenly seem like a gift from heaven. Besides, it's not like I'm proposing black magic or suggesting any of these techniques will force someone to fall in love with you against their will. What they will do though is nudge the odds a lot higher in your favor. Is that really so bad? I don't think so. Go on, keep reading. You know you want to...

Hang Around Lots...but Then Be Unavailable

The more you interact with someone, the more they'll like you, says David Lieberman, a U.S. expert in human behavior. He's right actually. Several studies show repeated exposure to practically any stimulus makes us like it more (the only time it doesn't hold true is if our initial reaction to it is negative). So forget about being aloof, evasive, and unavailable in the beginning. Instead, find lots of excuses to spend time with him.

Now, pay attention, because this is the tricky part. Just when you're convinced you've won them over and they like you, start being a little less available. And then even less, until they hardly see you at all. You've now effectively instigated the "law of scarcity." We all know this one: people want what they can't have and by constantly being available, you diminish your value. If every time you walked outside your front door there was a huge pile of diamonds to step over, you'd hardly see them as precious would you? The law of scarcity only makes them want you. Be around and then not around and they'll want and like you. I'm stating the obvious here, but liking someone is important. We talk endlessly about chemistry, passion, sexual attraction, and even more about love, yet "like" rarely gets mention. Opposites don't attract long-term; we search for similarities in a partner. Most of us can't see the point in hanging around friends we don't like, so why do it with a lover? Liking someone is more important long-term than actually loving them. It's not just similarities in our personalities that count. If you go out with someone who looks like you, they're four times more likely to fall in love with you! "That's so true!" said a girlfriend, when I told her this trivia tidbit. "Look at my sister and her husband!" Umm -- why? Lisa's sister has bleached blonde hair, freckles, and ivory skin. Her husband is Indian. "I'm not quite with you," I said carefully. "I know it's not obvious," she said, "But it's the proportion of their faces. His mother came up to me at their wedding and said, 'They will be happy because they are the same. Look at them.' And it's true. They have the same features, in the same places, in the same proportions.

Don't Do Nice Things for Them. Let Them Do Nice Things for You

If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and extra-warm toward the person you've just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealize how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we're pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play -- and they're not all good. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There's pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favor. It's all even trickier if the "nice thing" comes from someone you very much like but aren't sure about yet. Got the point? When we're infatuated with someone, we're desperate to do nice things for him. You're much better off letting him spoil you.

Give Them the Eye

Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin set out to see if he could measure love scientifically and achieved it by recording the amount of time lovers spent staring at each other. He discovered that couples who are deeply in love look at each other 75 percent of the time when talking and are slower to look away when someone else dares to intrude. In normal conversation, people look at each other between 30-60 percent of the time. The significance of what's now known as Rubin's Scale is obvious: It's possible to tell how "in love" people are by measuring the amount of time they spend gazing adoringly. Some psychologists still use it during counseling to work out how much affection couples feel for each other. It also happens to be remarkably handy information if you want to make someone fall in love with you. Here's how it works: If you look at someone you like 75 percent of the time when they're talking to you, you trick their brain. The brain knows the last time that someone looked at them that long and often, it meant they were in love. So it thinks OK, I'm obviously in love with this person as well, and starts to release phenylethylamine (PEA). PEA is a chemical cousin to amphetamines and is secreted by the nervous system when we first fall in love. PEA is what makes our palms sweat, our tummies flip over, and our hearts race. The more PEA the person you want has pumping through the bloodstream, the more likely he is to fall in love with you. While you can't honestly force someone to adore you if he's not remotely interested (they won't let you look into their eyes for that long, for a start!), it is entirely possible to kick-start the production of PEA using this technique. Try it. I think you'll be pretty impressed with the results. Give someone the sensation of feeling in love whenever he's with you, and it's not such a huge leap of logic for him to finally decide that he is!

Don't Look Away

There was another crucial finding from Rubin's research: The couples took longer to look away when someone else joined the conversation. Again, if you do this to someone who's not in love with you (yet), you trick his brain into thinking he is, and even more PEA floods into his bloodstream. Relationships expert Leil Lownes calls this technique making "toffee eyes." Simply lock eyes with the person you like and keep them there, even when he has finished talking or someone else joins the conversation. When you eventually do drag your eyes away (three or four seconds later), do it slowly and reluctantly -- as though they're attached by warm toffee. This technique may not sound terribly inspired but, believe me, if done properly it can literally take your breath away. If you're too shy to gaze openly, skip the toffee and think bouncing ball. Look away and at the other person who's joined the conversation, but every time they finish a sentence, let your eyes bounce back to the person you're interested in. This is a checking gesture --you're checking his reaction to what the speaker is saying -- and lets him know you're more interested in him than the other person.

Practice Pupillometrics

We all know "bedroom eyes" when we see them: it's the look of lust. There's just one thing you need for bedroom eyes: big pupils. According to pupillometrics, the science of pupil study, this is the crucial element we respond to. You can't consciously control your pupils (one reason why people say the eyes don't lie). But you can create the right conditions to inspire large pupils and get the effect. First, reduce light. Our pupils expand when they're robbed of it, one reason why candlelight and dimmer switches are de rigueur in romantic restaurants. It's not just the softening of light that makes our faces appear more attractive, larger pupils also help. Scientists showed two sets of pictures of a woman's face to men. The photograph was identical, except for one thing; the pupils in one set had been doctored to make them larger. When shown the doctored photograph, men judged the woman as twice more attractive than when shown the real photo. It was repeated with a man's face and tested on women and gave the same result. Our pupils also enlarge when we look at something we like. Again, this can be proved using pictures. This time, researchers snuck a picture of a naked woman into a pile of otherwise bland, commonplace photographs then watched men's pupil size when they flicked through them. Without exception, the men's pupils expanded on cue. This means if you're attracted to someone a lot, your pupils are probably already big, black holes. All good. To ensure this is happening or to up the effect of your bedroom eyes, focus on the part of the person you like the most. (On second thought, better make it the next best thing.)

5 Great Places to Meet Quality Singles

Five Great Places to Meet Quality Singles 

Most people can recall a time when they were walking by themselves, perhaps in a mall or down a crowded sidewalk, and saw a happy couple hand in hand, happily in love.  If you've been an unattached person at a wedding, you have probably asked yourself when it will be your turn to find love and happiness.  Finding a person to love, who loves you back, can be difficult in a time when people are on edge, distrusting, and unwilling to put themselves in a vulnerable position.  Each and every one of us is looking for something different, which is why even if your happily-married neighbors met online, you may not be interested in a relationship that blooms over the internet.

Listed here are five places you can consider when looking for compatible singles in your area.

There are a variety of options here, and in no particular order, these are the most popular places that you can meet a quality single - meaning, no bars!

Church -
Many people are looking to meet singles with the same religious affiliation and beliefs as themselves, and what better place to do this than at church?

Most churches offer ample opportunities to mingle and get to know others, including weekend retreats, weekly Bible study courses, and activities such as choir. Many churches even offer a weekly or monthly singles night.

Five Great Places to Meet Quality Singles 

School -
Not all college students are ready for a serious and steady relationship. However, students of all ages are looking for love too, so it is not unreasonable to think that there are others who have more on their mind then their mid-term finals.

College clubs and organizations are great places to meet others who have the same interests as you, so consider joining a group or two in your spare time.

Work -
Many workplaces have policies against dating co-workers, though most only apply to those in a managerial or superior position. Regardless, we can't always choose who we love, and you just may find yourself in the awkward position of falling for someone you spend time with every day.

Dating Services -
These include internet services such as eHarmony.com and Match.com, and newspaper classifieds.

A new trend in dating is Speed Dating, where up to a hundred singles meet at a restaurant and spend about 8 minutes with up to 8 different people.

Opportunities to meet others at the event are possible during the intermission and after the 64 minutes of dating has passed, at which time there is an "open" mingling session.

This format takes pressure of individuals, as no personal information is given out. When participants go home, they enter there favorite "dates" into their online profile, and when two individuals enter each others' information, a "match" is created and at that point their personal contact information is shared with each other.

Groups and Organizations - 
Other popular places to meet individuals include at your local Bingo night, community fairs and carnivals, professional groups such as Rotary, and clubs that focus on hobbies and even heritage backgrounds.

There are many singles out there looking for love, just like you! I know it is hard to believe that there is a person out there just for you, but there is. You just have to know where to look and remember always to keep your eyes open, because often love is standing right in front of us.

8 Tips On How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back

Getting your girlfriend back may seem like the most difficult task on the planet. It doesn't have to be though. Many guys make it much more difficult than is necessary. You see, you've been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it's supposed to be. That isn't the case at all.

In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy tips you can follow that really will help you get her back. Here are a few things you should remember if you really want to win her back.

8 Tips On How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back
Stop Living in the Past

Turn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." Living in relationship past robs you both of all the joy of each day together when you're in the relationship. Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.

Become the Man You WANT to Be

This is hard for many men. It's something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called The Kid, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he'd become saying, "So, I'm forty, I'm not married, I don't fly jets, and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser."

Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that doesn't mean you can't take steps to be the man you want to be -- even if that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you want to be. Then you must tackle the process of becoming that man.

How does that Help You Get the Girl?

Life doesn't always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to really get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop trying to recapture a past that wasn't as picture perfect as you remember, you'll be able to gain a new outlook on the future. One thing is certain. Once you become the man you WANT to be, the here and now, the PRESENT, is something she'll WANT to be part of.

learn how 8 Tips On How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back can get her back between your arms in no time :)

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