1. Either block or unfriend him on Facebook, because that shit will be the death of you.
Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. You're both grown-ups, right! What's a little "David's Birthday Bar Crawl!" action popping up on your feed? Noooo. There will be a really pretty redhead in his arms in every picture, and you will feel like you want to jump into Buffalo Bill's abandoned well girl-trap in Silence of The Lambs.
2. Don't immediately suggest to "stay friends" — and if he does, tell him you need to think about it.
This is an impulse because you don't want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you're so chill. You're so chill that your heart isn't beating. Aaand, you're dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it's hard to tell whether you'll be able to be friends or not. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that shit out before it can be a healthy friendship … if it ever can be. You're not admitting defeat by not staying friends with him.
3. If you feel an impulse to get drunk alone, call some friends instead.
It's the worst being alone and sad and drunk. When you've just broken up with someone, you get all nihilistic, and because there is probably not a Hot Topic near you to get some KoRn CDs, you get too hammered to see and wind up hooking up with a 50-year-old married man with a ponytail in a bar bathroom. At least be sad with people you love! We've all been heartbroken — it's not like they'll judge you for drinking wine with dirty hair, in Family Guy pajamas.
4. If you want to drunk-text, get your friend to take your phone away or throw it in a volcano.
Oh, the number of times I have drunk-texted something cryptic to an ex at 2 a.m. and assumed if he texts back, he still has feelings for me. Drunk-texting an ex is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back slide down the rabbit hole. Him replying, "nothing," to your booze-fueled, "sup," does not mean you'll have a spring wedding.
5. Begin some kind of intense, rage-based workout routine.
Maybe this isn't a good time for yoga! Maybe it's a good time for something new, like kickboxing. Really get some of that negative stuff out.
6. Spend a lot of time outside. It's a cliché, but fresh air really does clear your head.
So does, you know, seeing the sun every once in a while. Take at least two hours from each day just to leave your Cave of Forgotten Dreams and interact with The Outside.
7. Rebound with one incredibly hot guy, if that's what you want, and then give yourself some time to decompress and remember who you are. Go out and get yourself some strange from a guy who is either a King of Leon or just has dirty hair. It's hard to tell the difference. But then slow down and be low-key for a while. If you've had one rebound, you've had them all, in this woman's opinion.
8. If you start dating someone else, take it really slow.
Dude. You just ended a relationship and your heart flipped over and exploded like a tanker in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. If you take it step by step and enjoy it as a casual thing for a while, that'll give you some time to evaluate whether you're actually ready to be with someone again or if you're just ready to have really hot sex with them in an elevator once in a while.
9. Allow yourself to cry when you need to.
Thus preventing a giant tidal wave of #feels to wash over you in the workplace, or the DMV, or anywhere else inappropriate. If you don't, you'll repress your feelings until you break down in the office pantry while you're microwaving your pasta and that passive-aggressive asshole Susan comes over and takes you to the women's bathroom and murmurs a bunch of vaguely religious-sounding proverbs like, "This too shall pass." And then every time you and Susan make contact afterwards, it will be weird.
10. If you get a Facebook invite to his best friend's party ... stay home, put a face mask on, eat Chinese, and watch House of Cards.
There is always a strong temptation to show up with a fresh blowout and a low-cut J.Lo Grammys dress, and grind with his friend that you hate just to make him jealous. Eat your heart out, you think to yourself as you do a nasty seventh grade dance grind with the guy you once referred to as a "dicksnack tool moron." Actually, assuming his best friend is some guy you don't really care about, going to that party still makes it all about him — not your emotional well-being. And seeing him will just pick the scab open.
11. Don't scheme to get him back — scheme to get yourself back.
Get some solid book recs, join a pickup sports game, go on a trip somewhere with a girlfriend. Paint your bathroom; I don't care. Just do something for yourself.
12. Write him heartbroken letters and never send them.
Get it all out — on paper, so as to avoid accidentally sending them. (E is for the "Extremely messed up way you treated me." R is for "the rage I feel." I is for "I will never love again." C is for "I HATE YOU YOU DICKHEAD, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME." Sent from reallyreallysad@gmail.com.) I bet that's how Alanis Morrissette wrote "You Oughta Know."
13. Avoid posting the details on Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Instagram. Or Tumblr.
Live ya life! Airing your grievances on social media is not good for anyone, and it'll be embarrassing later. Who's gonna read it, anyway? Aunt Maggie? That girl you met during Welcome Week?
14. Take baths. Baths are half wallowing and half cleansing/pampering, and thus are perfect for breakups.
When's the last time you really filled up your tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a glass (bottle) of wine? Showers are not for the recently dumped.
15. Stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, "If only I'd watched more Bourne movies/dyed my hair blonde/given more rim jobs/was cooler.
" It takes two to break up — the problem wasn't just you, it was you two as a couple. It's almost reverse-narcissistic to blame yourself that much! If you try to look at the relationship from the outside, maybe you'll have an easier time seeing how you both contributed to the breakup. "If only" killed the dinosaurs. (Actually an asteroid did, but let's not quibble.)
Article Credit To : Cosmopolitan
Friday, January 8, 2016
getting ex girlfriend back
getting ex girlfriend back can be easy with just few simple steps to follow :
Why Apologizing is the Wrong Answer if You Really Want to Getting ex Girlfriend Back
Most guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some of them have a hard time understanding why this doesn't work to getting ex girlfriend back- or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.
Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness for getting ex girlfriend back
Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. It's one of Gibbs' favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.
Apologies Come Across as Insincere
Chances are good that you've apologized in the past. Perhaps, you've even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you don't have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, you're going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.
Apologies aren't Specific Enough
Apologizing for "whatever you did to make her leave" isn't going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why you're apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that you've hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you've done. She wants to know that you understand it's wrong. Problem is, she doesn't always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it's a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.
It's Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing
The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing that's really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper!
The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it's best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.
1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.
and you will be getting ex girlfriend back
Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures.
Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.
Why Apologizing is the Wrong Answer if You Really Want to Getting ex Girlfriend Back
Most guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some of them have a hard time understanding why this doesn't work to getting ex girlfriend back- or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.
Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness for getting ex girlfriend back
Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. It's one of Gibbs' favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.
Apologies Come Across as Insincere
Chances are good that you've apologized in the past. Perhaps, you've even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you don't have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, you're going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.
Apologies aren't Specific Enough
Apologizing for "whatever you did to make her leave" isn't going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why you're apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that you've hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you've done. She wants to know that you understand it's wrong. Problem is, she doesn't always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it's a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.
It's Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing
The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing that's really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper!
The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it's best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.
1) Be specific.
2) Make your apology brief.
3) Keep it simple.
and you will be getting ex girlfriend back
Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures.
Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made along the way.
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