Poor Relationship Indicators

Poor Relationship Indicators

New relationships can be very exciting. So exciting, in fact, that you become blinded to the obvious indicators that should be giant red flags warning you of a potentially disastrous relationship.....or a very poor one in the least. Here are just a few of what we had in mind:

1. I'll call you but you can't call me. This is the guy or girl who either refuses to give you a home number, or any number at all, and never answers the phone if he or she does give you a number. This person might even display a certain amount of agitation if you do make that phone call more than a few times. But when he or she wants to call you, it is all fine and dandy. For most people, this type of relationship won't last long. Most people have more respect for themselves than to let something like this go on. But I have a few friends who have dealt with characters such as this. You can't call this person because he or she is either married or dating someone else. You are on the down low.
2. The date with an explosively defensive personality. Have you ever been on a first or second date where you already encountered a little tiff? I once went out with a guy who put me on an intense guilt trip on the first date. He was gorgeous, athletic and a little mysterious so I was happy about the date. But when I accidentally ignored what he said at one point, he made me feel terrible about it. It was a normal mishap. I was driving while he was talking and it just so happened that I was driving in a terrible rainstorm. I was nervous and was holding on to the wheel with a death grip. While I was negotiating a turn in this deluge I happened to miss what he said and responded with an "Uh-huh". Apparently it was an inappropriate response. I never found out what he said but he didn't let more forget it. As we dated a few more times, his aggression came out brutally (verbally) on a few occasions and I abruptly ended it. I should have seen it coming from the beginning.
3. The person who doesn't respect your limits. This is usually a sign of immaturity, but it can also signal a sign of dominance. There are many examples of this. For example, a woman who keeps pushing you to go to party after party, when you just want to go home to bed. Someone who pushes you into doing something you don't want to do even when you have said so. In a worst case scenario, this is the guy who just doesn't understand that no means no. If someone doesn't respect the limits you have set out for them, that person probably doesn't respect you at all.
4. When the guy or girl stresses how important good looks are in the relationship. I actually had a guy tell me that it was very important to him that we both remain good looking even as we aged in years. I understand vanity, and it is okay to care about your body and the way you look. But that is not what this guy meant. He was taking it a step beyond and he wanted me to know how much "looks" meant to him. He was a socialite, and it meant everything to him. While I was thinking about keeping in shape and getting up to date haircuts, he was thinking breast augmentations, tummy tucks, brow lifts, botox and permanent makeup. If that was what was important to him, then fine. But I wanted what was inside of me to be the most important factor to someone. This guy wasn't ready for a relationship yet. All he needed was mannequin and a mirror for himself.